


Vows

by StarvingLunatic



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Character Death, F/F, Fake Marriage, Flashbacks, Growing Up, Jealousy, Marriage, One Shot, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-23 12:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19701565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarvingLunatic/pseuds/StarvingLunatic
Summary: Why did Kara share Alex's room when she came to live with the Danvers? Surely there were empty rooms in the house. There's a simple explanation. Kara and Alex are married... or are they?





	Vows

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own these characters; DC does.
> 
> A/N: here’s some Kalex for you. I wanna thank Kylie for beta-reading this. I hope you guys enjoy.

Vows

Kara did not want it to seem like she was throwing a tantrum, but considering the fact that she almost pulled her front door out of the frame when she opened it, she had to be honest with herself. She was having a tantrum, wanting to scream to the moon right now since she was so upset. How could she not be upset? Alex and Maggie were all hugged up again, gazing at each other with heart eyes. She groaned so loudly she was certain her neighbors heard.

Okay, maybe, “hugged up” was an exaggeration, but there were definitely heart eyes for a little while. After all, Alex would never be anything but professional at the DEA and Maggie had definitely been staring at her with stars in her eyes after watching Alex shoot down some rather nasty alien space pods that so did not come in peace. Kara would not fault Maggie for that, as she was certain she had looked the same way. Who would not be awed by Alex with a massive gun on her hip, saving the world?

The issue was Alex responded to Maggie’s open gushing with a little of her own, going on and on about how well Maggie had taken down bad guys on the ground, talking about Maggie’s moves, and how she handled her own weapon. For Alex, that was practically flirting. _How could she?_

“How could Alex do that in front of everybody? Doesn’t she care that everybody could see her being all gushy?” Kara huffed, throwing her hands up. She was tempted to punch something, but was not in the mood to have to fix it. Instead, she paced without any direction, feeling like she was going out of her mind.

They were probably on a date right now. The possibility made Kara grind her teeth. Alex could not date! The force of the thought shocked Kara and gave her pause. Alex could date, just like she could date.

“We’re not really married,” Kara said it aloud, to the empty apartment to remind herself of the reality of the situation. She and Alex were not really married. She thought she had come to terms with that years ago.

Kara collapsed on the couch and buried her face in her hands. This should not bother her anymore. She had moved on, or so she kept trying to tell herself. Tears burned her eyes. She and Alex were not really married, except they were. By Kryptonian tradition, she and Alex were married.

“But, I forced it on her,” Kara sighed. She forced Alex to marry her. The tears fell. This was all her fault. _Because I’m selfish, like always_.

-8-8-8-8-

This new world was loud and confusing. She should have appreciated the noise after decades of silence, but it seemed booming, deafening. Things were somehow fast and slow at the same time. Everything was too bright, burning her eyes, but also dull and out of focus. There were so many colors and they all blended together. It was like a blurred nebula to her. Kara could not make heads or tails of it. It did not help that she did not feel right, did not feel like herself. Something seemed tilted, dizzying. Worse yet was meeting the cousin she had been charged to care for.

Kal-El was not only older than Kara was, but also near god-like thanks to Earth’s yellow sun. He did not need her protection. Making it even worse, he, her last surviving family, did not want her. He wanted her to stay with his friends, he wanted her to “be of their House now.” He obviously did not know what that meant. But, how could he? He had grown up with humans and she had not been there to teach him the ways of their planet. Now, he was ignorant of their wonderful culture.

“I cannot join another House, unless through marriage!” Thirteen-year-old Kara cried in a panic as she looked around Kal-El, or Clark as he and the Earthlings called him. Just beyond him, standing near their house in the backyard, were the family he seemed intent on leaving her with. A mother, a father, and their daughter, who had been hiding in the window not too long ago, but decided to come down for a closer look. They were the Danvers, according to her cousin.

“Kara, what do you mean? They’re going to adopt you,” he replied in very messy Kryptonese. Her heart broke for him. He could barely speak their language. He did not understand their culture. Krypton truly was dead and anything that had a chance of surviving would do so through her, but she was not even sure how she would survive on this perplexing planet.

“Only family can adopt on Krypton,” Kara replied. He seriously did not know a thing about their culture. To insecure households and bloodlines, only the closest family was allowed to adopt someone, like she had planned to do with him. Clearly, he did not have the same sense of family and responsibility. What had these humans done to him? What had Earth done to him?

Kal-El frowned. “They’re like my family.”

She frowned right back. “They are not family, though. They cannot adopt me. To stay with them, to join their House, I would have to marry into the family and their House would need to be higher than the House of El.”

He shrugged. “There is no House of El on Earth.”

Kara flinched, at the words and his tone. So damned nonchalant, like the House of El meant nothing to him. He was correct in a sense. The House of El was gone with Krypton, but also lived on through them, even if this damned dunderhead did not know anything about their culture or family. Still, on Earth, the House of El did not have the same weight as it did on Krypton. She was no one here.

“I can’t join a House unless I marry into it.” Kara folded her arms across her chest. She would not move on this issue. He would not trample on her beliefs and throw her away. He would turn his back completely on Krypton after his father had tried so desperately to save it, but saved him. He could not possibly be so ungrateful.

Kal-El made a noise that was somewhere between a growl and a groan. He had the nerve to be fed up with her. She wanted to slap him with the hope it would make him suddenly realize his Kryptonian heritage.

Kal-El turned and rushed over to the family. As he spoke to the parents while their daughter, Alex, stared at her with quiet intrigue. Her head was tilted slightly It was different from how Alex looked at Kal-El, with awe and amazement. Maybe that was why he loved the Earth so much that he was willing to throw away all Kryptonian custom. The raw worship in Alex’s eyes was probably something he saw often considering his powers and talents while the humans were barely evolved. _He sold his soul_.

Kara could not really tell what Kal-El said to the Danvers. There was too much noise to filler through. Why was this planet so loud? It was active in a way she did not think was possible. There was motion everywhere, sounds all over, covering so much, changing too quick. _How can anyone focus here?_ Her eyes darted around her every few seconds before focusing back on her cousin. Eventually, Kal-El turned to Alex and pulled her aside.

Kara was not sure what her cousin said to the young Danvers, the only eligible person to do what Krypton tradition demanded. It worked, though. The younger Danvers gave Kal-El a look, but did not say anything to him. Instead, she stepped over to Kara and gave her a weird, crooked smile. 

Kara wanted to glare the youngest Danvers down and be pissed at her like she was with rest of the universe, especially her idiot cousin, but it was hard with that scrunched up face staring at her like some kind of awkward, gangly puppy. So, she gave an awkward smile of her own and then Kal-El did the worst job ever of a marriage ceremony in the history of the universe, but from that moment on Kara was Kara Danvers and she loathed it with every fiber of her being. But, what was done was done.

 _Why even bother escaping Krypton? I should’ve died with everyone else_. She would not have been the definition of misery like now.

Kara did not know much about being married and knew even less than that about being married on Earth. She decided that did not matter. If she was to be married, then she would be so on her own terms, on Kryptonian terms. She sized up her new spouse. Alex was taller than she was, with lanky limbs and hair that shone like red copper under Earth’s yellow sun. Still, something about her said “big puppy” to Kara and made Kara openly scoff at her. 

Alex gave her a weird half-smile, tugging up one side of her face. “Come on. Mom and Dad want to show you your room.”

“You mean _our_ room,” Kara replied.

“Excuse me?” Alex arched an eyebrow.

“You are my bond-mate. We would share a room, yes?” Kara asked it as a question, but it was a statement. This was what they would do, as that was how it was done on Krypton.

Alex’s forehead wrinkled and she stared, like she was confused. “I don’t think Mom and Dad will let us share a room.”

“We are bond-mates. It’s expected.” And that was that.

With that statement, Kara saw fear on Alex’s face for the first time. It turned to anger when the Danvers conceded to Kara’s demand. They claimed it was for Kara’s comfort and to help her learn how to live as a human. “What better way to learn how to be a human teenager them to live with one,” Eliza Danvers had said with a smile. It was clear to Kara even then they were humoring her, but it did not matter. She got her  
way. She had a little bit of control over her miserable life, for whatever it was worth. Besides, they would eventually understand she was now as much theirs as Alex was.

“Mom, this isn’t cool. I can’t share my room,” Alex said as her parents turned like they were about to go back into the house. Kal-El was already gone, barely a goodbye in Kara’s direction.

“Bond-mates share rooms,” Kara replied.

“Work it out. You wanted to get married,” Jeremiah Danvers’ eyes sparkled with a light Kara could clearly remember in her own father’s eyes when she did something that amused him. He clapped Alex on the shoulder. 

Alex scowled. “This isn’t funny.”

“Of course it’s not. You help Kara get settled in while we start looking for furniture for her,” Jeremiah said and then he turned to Kara with a smile. “Welcome to the family.”

Kara tried so hard to keep her tough exterior, but those simple words broke her. Tears welled up in her eyes and she was not sure if it was because she lost the last family she had to Earth or if because this kind Earth family saw fit to take her in, going so far to follow through with an arranged marriage right on the spot. Kara let loose a sob and no sooner had the sound escaped her throat were there arms around her and she honestly felt loved for the first time since landing on this cursed, technically backwards rock.

The family just let her cry, too. They did not mutter hollow words or try to pass her along to someone else. They held her and let her cry. It felt so good, so freeing, but as soon as she was done, the weight was back. She was certain the weight would be there forever.

After the group hug, Alex took her around the shoulders and led her into the house. She could hear the doctors Danvers discussing something, but she was so upset, it sounded like garbled static. She barely noticed when they got to the room. Before she realized it, she was sitting down. Alex was still next to her, arms around her tense, heavy shoulders.

“Is this our room?” Kara managed to ask. She looked around, but did not really take in what the room was about. It was a box with images on the walls.

“This is _my_ room,” Alex replied, voice with a little bit chill despite the warm embrace keeping Kara from falling apart.

“Bond-mates share rooms,” Kara repeated, no room for argument.

Alex opened her mouth, but did not say anything. Kara felt victorious, but hollow at the same time. Here Alex was trying to comfort her and help her, and she was treating Alex like a lower life form. Technically, humans were just that, but Alex was trying to help her. Alex did not need to do any of this for her.

Kara ignored that last thought and looked around the room with more attention now. It was clearly a bedroom, as they were on the bed. There were papers on every wall with images Kara did not really understand and did not have the energy to ponder at the time. But, her mind backtracked. They were on a bed. Their bed. They were now bond-mates, regardless of how Kal-El butchered the ceremony. Just like bond-mates shared a room, they shared a bed.

 _Maybe I shouldn’t have rushed into this_. Kara was not ready to bed-share, especially with a lower life form. Glancing at Alex, she doubted the human girl would want that. After all, Alex did not even want to share her room.

“You can stay here tonight,” Alex said.

Kara put her chin in the air, mimicking a superiority she did not feel. “Every night. Bond-mates share a room. It is tradition.”

Alex sucked her teeth, but that did not change anything. They did not end up sharing a bed that night. Alex slept on the floor and Kara was grateful. She did not sleep, though. She did not feel tired, physically. Her mind raced as she stared into the darkness, contemplating her place in the world. What was her purpose? _Who am I on Earth? Who am I without Kal-El? Who am I without Krypton?_ No answers came that night, only a million more questions.

She glanced at Alex on the floor. Another question. What to do with her bond-mate? Would they eventually share a bed? _Do I want to? Will I ever want to?_ Right now, she did not want to share the bed, but she did not mind Alex being her mate, even if she was a mere Earthling.

In the morning, Kara learned the Danvers ordered her a bed of her own and it would arrive sometime that day. That got a sigh of relief from her. She would not be put out of Alex’s room, even though Alex pointed out there were two spare bedrooms in the house. Space would be made for her in Alex’s room. Alex seethed and scowled, but did not object to any of this. Good. Alex understood who was in charge then.

-8-8-8-8-

“I was such a brat.” Kara could hardly believe how selfish she had been back then, forcing Alex into a marriage when the Danvers were only trying to help her, taking Alex’s space when Alex was only trying to comfort her, and even resenting Alex for having her parents, resenting the Danvers for being a loving family. Of course, that did not last long after her arrival. 

For a long time, she believed she was cursed. She had to be. How else to explain losing her entire planet, getting lost in space for decades, missing her mission of raising Kal-El, her last remaining family not wanting her, and then all of the damage she did to Alex? Some of it, even on purpose. _Maybe I’m being punished_.

“I never deserved Alex and I’m still a brat, throwing a tantrum. So, maybe even this thing I feel while she’s out with Maggie, maybe that’s part of the punishment. I deserve at least that,” she said, scrubbing her face with both hands, still on the sofa in her silent apartment.

Kara was not sure why she would be punished for most of her life. That hardly seemed fair. But, then again, it hardly seemed fair to those around her that she was some sort of plague, even when she was trying to do the right thing.

“I just wanna do the right thing, especially with Alex. I just never know what’s right with Alex. Have I even done right by Alex?” Tears burned her eyes again. She hated hurting Alex, but it seemed like it was all she did.

She was definitely a plague to Alex, a selfish plague that was still acting as if the universe revolved around her. Was it so wrong to want Alex all to herself? Alex was hers. _No! Alex is not yours. You tried to steal her, imprison her with you within your misery when all she ever did was try to help you, even when you were too prideful to admit_.

It crushed Kara’s chest, even though it was not the first time she realized the pain she brought Alex. When she was younger, it would not have mattered much. But, now, it hurt worse than any form of kryptonite. It was the worst.

-8-8-8-8-

The noise of planet Earth was the worst, cutting through Kara tonight as a storm raged outside the dark bedroom. Yes, Kara hated school and how primitive the education system was. She hated being teased day in and day out for being the “weird kid.” She hated not being able to claim the one thing she had on this planet, her bond-mate. It might be the thing she hated the most, even though she did not care much for Earthlings, Alex included.

On Earth, in the United States at least, it was odd for two people so young to be bonded, especially two females. So, she and Alex told everyone they were sisters. Kara was adopted. She hated this lie because so little was hers anymore. She did not even have her name, having taken on Danvers when joining their House and marrying her mate. Alex was all she had and she had not been particularly nice to Alex in the past few weeks, which brought her back to the noise of the planet.

There was a storm outside, possibly the worst one Kara had witnessed since landing. The lead glasses did nothing to block the sound or bright flashes of light. It was like the Earth itself was going to crack open, just like Krypton had decades ago. Storms brought her nightmares of her planet’s last moments whenever she managed to fall asleep during them, but usually they kept her awake, tense, and waiting for another planet to come apart at the seams right in front of her.

In the past, several months at this point, during severe weather, Alex would lift her blanket and offer rare space in her bed, but that was not likely to happen. Again, Kara had not been kind to Alex recently, so there was no reason for Alex to comfort her, unless Eliza appeared at the door and forced Alex to do so.

There were times when Eliza, and occasionally Jeremiah, could make Alex do something with or for Kara, like walking with her to school. Some things, Alex did not need to be forced to do. She always gave Kara extra food or leftovers, no matter how much she expressed she wanted them. Alex explained things the best whenever Kara was really confused and Eliza or Jeremiah could not find the right words. Alex figured out the best ways to help her calm and teach her how to live on Earth like a “normal” human being.

Early on, Alex told her there was no such thing as a “normal” and winked, like they suddenly had a secret. A secret with her bond-mate. It made her giddy, even though she tried to fight it down.

In all of this, it would seem like Alex was a great mate and Kara should feel honored to have her rather than being purposely mean to Alex at every turn. Part of that was Kara was still angry at the universe and she felt safe with taking her anger out on Alex, who was duty bound to put up with her. But, lately, most of her anger stemmed from Alex herself.

 _She’s a liar_. Kara was tempted to glare at the other side of the room, but did not have the strength or courage to do so with the wind howling, thunder sounding off more often than it should, and lightning slashing through the air. Not that it changed the fact that Alex was awful.

Alex had been in the hallway at school earlier that week and she complained about Kara, how she wished Kara was normal. She had heard plenty of people say things about her, but for some reason, Alex huffing about her not being normal hurt more than Kal-El flying off and leaving her with strange humans. Alex was her bond-mate and the person that made the world make sense, but at school Alex could be mean and thoughtless, so Kara had been the same. Now, it seemed like a poor decision because of the storm outside. 

As lightning crackled, breaking the dark sky, and the thunder boomed in her ears like an exploding planet, Kara whimpered and tucked herself into a tight ball. _This planet isn’t dying. This planet isn’t dying_. Still, she could feel tears sting her eyes as imaginary screams filled her ears. Krypton was dying all over again and there was nothing she could do about it, even with the miracle powers of Earth’s yellow sun. A soft sob escaped her. Krypton was dying and she was alone.

“Move over,” Alex grunted as she pressed herself against Kara’s back.

Kara jumped in surprise. The storm was so distracting she did not hear Alex move. “What are you doing?” Even though, that was obvious, but Kara could not bring herself to ask a real question. _Why are you doing this?_

Alex only grunted and did what she always did if Kara was afraid and they were alone. She cuddled Kara, like a true mate. She did not say anything about Kara purposely eating her favorite snacks earlier in the week or Kara forcing her to watch nature documentaries she did not want to see. She did not mention Kara using all the hot water for her shower. She did not say anything about the long list of offenses she knew Kara had done willfully that week alone.

Alex just held Kara close enough for Kara to know she was there, for Kara to almost feel pressure of her embrace. Kara released a breath she did not know she was holding and the tears she had tried to keep at bay came out with a howl. She did not realize how loud she must have been until the door burst open and Alex’s parents stepped in.

“Everything okay in here?” Jeremiah asked, eyes darting around the room for a threat.

“It’s just the storm. I got it, Dad,” Alex replied and that was more than enough for the couple to leave the teens. They had seen this scene several times since taking Kara in.

This was far from the first time Kara and Alex shared a bed, even though they had not taken their bond to a more intimate level. Kara knew eventually she would have to be the one push it, but right now she did not have the desire or the energy. The most they had done was snuggle and that was usually Alex holding her, keeping the nightmares at bay, even when she was awake. Why had she been mean to Alex again?

“I’m sorry I ate all your cookies,” Kara said, voice muffled by her pillow.

“It’s okay. They’re just cookies. We’ll get more,” Alex replied, arm draped over Kara’s stomach. Kara was certain if she concentrated, she would be able to feel the warmth of Alex’s fingertips. She would try later, if she needed something to take her mind off of the thunderstorm. 

“But, I know you were saving them for when you got your essay results back. You were going to share them with Jeremiah.” Maybe Kara had selfishly downed the bag of freshly made bakery cookies more out of resentment than anger. Alex still had a father who loved her dearly, who did things with her, had traditions with her, and all Kara had were memories of a father no one believed, even when it was too late.

“It’s just cookies.”

“How come you’re not this nice at school? At home you’re the perfect bond-mate, but at school…” Kara did not finish the statement and was happy they were not facing each other. She was not sure she could bear Alex’s expression right now.

“We’re not bond-mates at school. We’re sisters.” Her voice was soft when she said this, like that would take the sting out of it.

“We are always bond-mates. We made vows to the never-ending, life-giving light of Rao. That is forever, eternal. It doesn’t go away.”

“At school, we have to act like sisters or people might get suspicious.”

“I think that is a convenient excuse for you.”

Alex did not say anything back, so that was probably true. It hurt in spaces Kara could hardly understand, but knew they were cracks of emotions, seams where Alex managed to slide into and now lived there. Kara did not understand how that had happened, especially in a few short months. 

What started out as a way for Kara to take some control had grown into a thing Kara could hardly fathom in her young mind. It was affection most definitely, but was this the affection one had for a bond-mate? Had she grown to love Alex, who could be so kind at home, but so cruel outside? She was not sure. Did Alex love her? If so, how could Alex treat her one way behind closed doors and treat her another way at school? Once again, she had no answers.

Instead of dwelling, Kara focused on simple things that helped clear her mind and keep her sane. There was Alex’s heartbeat. It was comforting enough to sometime lull her to sleep. Alex’s breathing was nice and easy, keeping her settled. Then, there were the fingertips on her stomach. She focused until she was certain she could feel them and their little wasps of heat. It was probably her imagination, but enough to put her to sleep.

-8-8-8-8-

“Did I love her as a mate then?” Kara scratched her chin as she tucked her legs underneath her on the couch. _Do I love her as a mate now? No, because she’s not my mate._

Kara was never able to pinpoint when she started feeling things for Alex. It happened bit by bit, growing with each embrace, each patient explanation, and each act of unnecessary kindness made her fall in love. She was not sure when the feelings turned to love either. But, she had thought the feeling evolved into something different by now. She should have known better, though. Even now, she still had the urge to introduce Alex as her bond-mate, even though she understood Alex did not really see them that way.

“And if one of us doesn’t see it that way, then it’s not that way,” Kara told herself, as she had many times over the years. Apparently, her heart, her soul refused to listen.

It had taken years and heartache for Kara to understand Alex had not really married her. Yes, the ceremony, as mangled as it was, was real, but Alex had gone through with it to get an uncooperative scared alien child to do what was best for her. Alex’s first act for Kara had been one of sacrifice and Kara had not recognized it as such until they were apart.

Before that, the marriage was very real in Kara’s eyes, heart, and soul and because of the way Alex treated her, she thought it was the same for Alex. There were very few signs that their marriage was anything but real. Or maybe Kara missed some of the signs at the time. 

“Well, it’s not like they could’ve just told me.” Kara sighed. It would have shattered her world. Hell, it had shattered her world. And, from the way she felt right now, it was still shattering her world.

-8-8-8-8-

After Kara asked Alex about how she behaved in school, Alex got a little better. She did not talk about Kara behind her back and also tried to stop her friends from making fun of Kara. Kara felt it was her duty to protect her mate’s honor with the same vigor. Well, maybe more so since she could not do much else for Alex.

So, when she heard Kyle Parker talking with his friends about how he would “smash” Alex, she acted. She shoved him into the nearest wall and glared at him with such fierceness, she thought her heat vision might activate and bore through her glasses before going through the boy’s head. And she would not care.

“Hey, what are you doing, freak?” Kyle tried to break away, but found it very much impossible.

“I will not let you smash Alex!” Kara would squash him like a bug in this hallway before any and all humans before she let him hurt Alex.

“Let me go before you regret it.” He growled at he, but he was very aware he was at her mercy.

“Kara, let him go!” Alex came charging down the hall. Good. Alex would see she could be a good bond-mate, too, when she tried. But, when Alex got closer, it was clear she did not think Kara was being a good mate. Alex frowned at her. “Kara, I said put him down.”

“But, he wants to hurt you,” Kara said, eyes squinting as her mind raced. Why was she in trouble when she was trying to protect Alex?

“Alex, get your pet freak off of me before I forget she’s a girl!” Kyle’s heart raced despite his big words.

“Hey! Don’t call her that.” Alex shot him a glare before turning softer eyes to Kara. She put a hand on Kara’s shoulder, as if she knew Kara would concentrate on trying to feel her than hurting Kyle. “Kara, let him go and we can talk about what he said to upset you.”

Kara knew that tone. It was the one that said no movie night if she did not comply. She had learned to love movie night, so she did as she was told. As soon as she released Kyle, Alex grabbed her by the hand and pulled her away. She could hear Kyle and his friends calling her a freak. She did not care. The only thing that mattered was showing Alex she could also make an effort and be a better mate. Of course, she could tell from Alex’s expression, she had not done that. It became more apparent when Alex dragged her into an empty room.

“What the hell were you thinking? Do you want someone to find out you’re not just an awkward teenager or what?” Alex huffed, making her hands into tight fists.

“I was trying to protect you!” Kara stood tall and proud. She had done the right thing as far as she was concerned.

“Protect me from what? You think I can’t handle an idiot like Kyle?”

“He said he was going to smash you and he is much larger than you are,” Kara said. Kyle was easily six foot five and weighed over two hundred pounds. Alex, on the other hand, had not grown since Kara arrived. It might have something to do with Kara constantly taking food from her. She might have to start sharing her food with Alex, regardless of the fact that she felt ravenous on this planet all the time.

Alex exhaled, pressing her arms downward, as if she was pushing the air from her lungs. “He said what?”

“He said he was going to smash you.”

Alex now inhaled sharply and put her hands to her mouth. “Tell me his exact words.”

“That’s what he said. Well, his exact words were ‘Yeah, Alex Danvers, I’d definitely smash.’”

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Alex sighed. “Kara, we’ve talked about slang. Not everything is meant literally, especially with teenagers.”

Kara frowned. She had failed to protect Alex’s honor due to one of many communications misunderstandings. She had been here almost a year. Why could she not get these subtle things? “Then what did he mean if he wasn’t planning to actually crush you, which he could do because he’s so big.” She felt that needed to be stated to show she was trying to do a good deed.

Alex’s face flared with a bright red blush. “I don’t think we should talk about that here.”

“No, tell me.”

“We need to get to class.” Alex moved for the door, but Kara took her hand.

Kara squeezed Alex’s hand. “Tell me.”

“When he said he wanted to smash, he meant he’d sleep with me.”

Kara gasped and felt a different sort of hot anger erupted in her got. She had no reference for the odd fury in her system. She wanted to put Kyle through that wall now. This was worse than when she thought he wanted to hurt Alex.

“You’re my bond-mate,” Kara said. No one was allowed that privilege with her mate, except her… when she was ready it. Which, was not now, but no one else could have Alex now either.

With a snort, Alex rolled her eyes. “Oh, that bit of slang you understand. In school, we’re foster sisters. So, you walk away from that stuff.”

“You’re my bond-mate.”

Alex sighed. “Kara, we’re sisters here and you can’t go around shoving people for me.”

“Last week you punched Danny Cleaver in the stomach because he asked what my damage was and how I turned into such a freak.”

“Well, Danny’s an ass and most kids around here know your story, so for him to make fun of you for that showed he needed his ass pounded. Insensitive douche.”

Kara puffed up on the inside and felt something weird. Alex standing up for her in school had started doing that to her. The first time she saw Alex stand up for her while showing off how strong she was, Kara felt like _she_ had been hit in the stomach. Kara did not know what it was, but she had it. She liked it way more than the feeling she got with the idea of Kyle wanting to bed Alex. She still wanted to punch him in the face. But, she also wanted to tell everybody Alex was her mate and display their relationship. Surely she had gotten lucky to get such a bond-mate.

“Go back to class, Kara. Don’t hurt anyone else. Remember, Kara Danvers is meek and unassuming,” Alex said.

Kara scowled, but did as she was told. She did not want to be meek and unassuming. She wanted to be strong and standout. She wanted to stop people from hurting those who were meek, but that was dangerous. Jeremiah made sure they both understood how wrong this could go, not just for Kara, but also for Kal-El.

Kal-El grew up human, knew how to hide in plain sight much better than Kara did. But, he had also exposed that Kryptonians had powers and if she was discovered as Kryptonian, she could be used against Kal-El or even against the Danvers. She did not want to do that. She did not want to be a problem for the only family she had.

For a while, Kara forgot about the emotions Kyle stirred in her, but then they came back. She was walking home with Alex, because they did that sort of thing voluntarily now, and Alex was going on and an about something her friend Vicki Donahue did. Kara had heard about Vicki before, had seen her on several occasions. There was something in Alex’s tone as she spoke about Vicki now that Kara picked up on. Maybe she always talked about Vicki in a gushing manner, but Kara just noticed. Either way, it set her insides ablaze.

It did not help when Alex had a sleepover with Vicki and Kara was not allowed to go. What was Vicki doing with her bond-mate? Alex being far away gave her an excuse to stretch her powers, focus and listen. She could hear Alex a few blocks away, laughing with Vicki, sounding happy and carefree.

It made her want to go scream at Vicki to leave Alex alone, that Alex was hers and hers alone. She knew that was not a good thing, but she could not stop the feeling. She tried to ignore it, but more weird feelings added to that.

Kara went to bed that night, across from Alex, who spent much of the night on the phone with Vicki. They made plans to hang out tomorrow at the mall from what Kara heard. Kara was invited, probably because Alex had to take Kara everywhere, except those precious sleepovers. It did not make her feel any better. She tossed her cover over her head, as if that would block things out.

Kara ended up falling asleep and dreamed. There were broken images of Alex, Vicki, Kyle, and Kara. She could not exactly remember what the images were, but she woke up to familiar pressure on her back, but completely foreign pressure between her legs.

“Kara, it’s okay. It’s just a nightmare,” Alex whispered to her, as she had done a million times more them likely already.

It was a nightmare, but it was not at the time. Fleeting images of Kara kissing Alex floated through her brain, but were then pushed aside by the similar pictures, but of Alex with Kyle and Vicki. No! They could not have her Alex, her mate. Before she could figure out what to do, Alex pulled her close and kissed her forehead.

It was then Kara realized she was covered in sweat. It was not the first time she woke up dripping with sweat, but this was for a very different reason that she could not figure out. Alex kissing her forehead had not helped. In fact, it made her hot and bothered.

“Alex.” Kara turned in her arms.

“It’s okay.” Alex shifted her limbs, holding Kara around the waist still, but hands pressed firmly against the small of her back. “It’s just a nightmare.”

“Yeah.” The nightmare was having her mate right there, but they were not properly together. She had not been ready when they were first married, but she was ready now, ready for the things she had seen in movies. Movies Eliza did not want her to see, but recently Alex began sneaking her to see. Something about their rating or something being too much for her, Eliza said, but Alex disagreed.

Kara was not sure how she knew she wanted those things, but the way she tingled, she knew. So, she went for it, like couples in the movies. She pressed her lips to Alex’s, being very careful not to hurt her mate. Then, things went the way things in movies did, just not the movies Kara was hoping for.

Alex pulled back. “Kara, I’m not ready for that.”

“For a kiss? We’ve never kissed and we’re been bonded for almost a year!” Kara huffed, the venom of rejection stinging her heart. In the movies, people kissed before they were even together!

“I know, but…” Alex cut her own words off and Kara did not know how to take it. How could Alex, the near perfect bond mate now, reject her?

“But what? Is there something wrong with me? Is it because I’m not normal?” The words had been uttered several long months ago, but still ate her in quiet moments.

Alex shook her head and there was such a gentleness in her eyes. “No, it’s nothing like that. I’m just not ready for that.”

“Again, at was just a kiss. Your parents, a bonded couple, kiss all the time.”

“Look, Kara, everyone goes at their own pace. I’m not ready for that.”

“I bet if I was Vicki you’d want to kiss!”

Alex reeled back, almost falling out of bed. She looked Kara dead in the eye, all the gentleness gone. “I’m not gay.”

Kara was not sure what Alex meant, but could feel it was a lie of some kind. Alex did not stick around to discuss the matter, rushing out of the room. She could hear Alex storming about downstairs, but she did not listen. She tuned out entirely when she heard Jeremiah join Alex.

Hopefully, he would explain to Alex about the relationship between bond-mates. They should at best kiss. Yes, Kara felt she might like to do more, but they had to start somewhere. She decided to check in just to make sure Jeremiah was setting Alex straight.

“Ok, you took responsibility for her when you fake-married her. You have to take care of her as much as the rest of us,” Jeremiah said.

Kara tuned out at that point, now stuck on the term “fake married.” She was not sure what that meant, but it did not sound good. She would ask Alex about it when she came back. She had to come back, after all.

It took several hours for Alex to return, though. And when she did, she went straight to bed. She did not say a word to Kara and did not answer when Kara called her name. Kara considered going to lie next to her, but did not want to press any further. The burn of rejection still quite imprinted on her skin. 

-8-8-8-8-

Kara let loose a humorless laugh to the empty apartment. “Fake-married. If I wasn’t so resistant to learning Earth mannerisms, their language, their everything, I’d have figured it out sooner.”

Even if Kara had figured out what Jeremiah meant by “fake-married” at the time, she would not have believed it. It was real on her end. For a long time, she thought it was real on Alex’s end, as Alex made the same vow to Rao with her. But, Rao did not mean the same thing to Alex and it took too long for Kara to realize that.

-8-8-8-8-

Kara never got a proper explanation about the fake-married comment, but eventually got a proper kiss from her mate. It was during a sorrowful time, though. Jeremiah had died and it was Kara’s turn to do the holding. She lied in bed with Alex, who had not cried, even at the funeral. Alex’s face had been blank as she stared at a picture of Jeremiah during the service and she had not spoken a word in almost three days.

“It’s okay,” Kara whispered, feeling like she needed to say something. “It’s okay to blame me.” It was her fault, was it not? Her being here, her forcing Alex to be her mate, cost Alex her father.

Alex shook her head. “I don’t blame you.”

Kara did not believe her, but Alex turned in her arms. Alex reached up and caressed Kara’s forehead down to her chin. It was so gentle Kara could not help trembling under her touch. Two years of marriage and Alex being a near perfect mate, she had never touched Kara with such tenderness. Yes, she sometimes touched Kara as if she would break, but this was like she was precious.

Kara was not sure what was going on, but did not have time to contempt it much. Alex kissed her cheeks, her nose, and then her lips. A spark shot through Kara and short-circuited her brain, so she did not think to kiss back.

“You don’t want to kiss anymore?” Alex asked, her eyes big and wet.

Words could not form in her brain, as Kara was certain her brain was broken. It did not matter. Her body knew what to do, moving to kiss Alex back. Their first mutual kiss and it was like being bathed in Rao’s light. Somehow, Kara had picked a mythological mate by throwing a tantrum. How the hell was that possible? It was like a small blessing in an ocean of curses.

It felt like they kissed all night, but it could not have been possible because the sun did not come up. As the kisses went on, Alex’s hands went to her arms, caressing them in a way Kara had never felt. A little moan escaped Kara and Alex stopped kissing her enough to smile at her. For a moment, Kara feared she had done something weird and this would stop.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” Alex asked, thumbs stroking Kara in a way that made her body feel warmer than usual.

Kara could feel a blush burn her cheeks. “You never said.”

“Because I’m an idiot, but you’re beautiful and it’s not your fault. None of it is your fault.” 

It took Kara a long time to realize Alex meant everything that happened, not just the death of Jeremiah, but the death of Krypton and her failing to raise Kal-El. Everything she felt was a curse was not her fault. That did not make it any less of a curse, though. She did not dwell as Alex’s lips returned to hers and the kissing continued. 

Alex’s hands went from Kara’s arms to her abdomen and Kara moaned again from the touch. She was not sure how she did not turn into a puddle, but it felt so nice. It was beyond her vocabulary.

The kissing gained momentum and Kara felt Alex’s tongue brush across her lips. It was nice. Kara wished she had a better vocabulary for it, but it was nice in so many different ways. Physically, it was delightful, much more fulfilling than a hug, but there was more to it than that. She could only imagine it was some feeling bond-mates got, which was why they kissed so often.

And then she felt Alex’s hand, under her shirt, on her stomach, against her skin. It was like being touched by an angel, like being touched by love. Her hand eased itself upward, settling right under her bra-covered breast. She had two and a half years worth of romance movies under her belt to know where this was going. Part of her was thrilled. She and Alex would be truly together, finally. It was just what she wanted. But, another part of her was terrified, like being alone in the universe and forced to look after her little cousin terrified. So, she pulled away.

“Alex, I don’t think I’m ready to do this,” Kara confessed as soon as there was enough space to do so.

Alex put even more space between them and gazed at Kara with wide-eyed terror. “Oh, my god. Kara, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that in the first place.” 

Kara blinked, unsure of why Alex would say such a thing. “What? No, we’re bond-mates. It’s fine. We should be close and I can comfort you. We can definitely kiss. I just don’t think I’m ready for more than that.” In fact, she knew she was not ready. The idea of being intimate with Alex shook her to her very core. It seemed overwhelming, like she could easily drown in Alex.

Alex shook her head. “No, you should go back to your bed, Kara. I’m sorry. That was inappropriate.” 

“But, we’re bonded!” How could kissing a mate be inappropriate?

“Go back to your bed, Kara. I appreciate you trying to help, but I really just want to be alone right now.”

Kara whimpered and sought words to keep Alex from pushing her away. In the end, none came and Alex did not stick around, did not wait for Kara to say something profound. She left her own bed, her own room, and holed up in Jeremiah’s office from what Kara could tell. Kara wanted to chase her, hold her, and do everything in her power to make sure Alex came out of this okay, just like Alex had done for her. But, it was in that moment, she realized she could not. 

Kara could not be to Alex what Alex was to her. Alex still had people to lean on, a mother, friends, family even beyond Kara. While it seemed like the world had ended for Alex, the world had not ended. Kara did not mean that in any insensitive way. It was just Alex had support and did not need Kara. Kara still had not learned the best way to make herself available to Alex.

“Maybe I should do stuff with her while she wants to,” Kara decided. Alex rarely wanted physical affection herself and rarely went further than hugging Kara when they touched. Maybe she should try to do more while Alex wanted to. But, she learned in the morning that ship had sailed.

Alex barely looked her way and did not eat anything for breakfast. Their walk to school was quiet with Alex standing almost a foot away from. This Alex did not want to interact with Kara, let alone kiss her or more. And that was their new normal.

-8-8-8-8-

Kara swallowed around a lump in her throat. It still hurt to remember the chasm that opened between her and Alex after Jeremiah died. “I was useless to her.” She was always useless to the one she wanted to do everything for. 

Kara had not known that was the beginning of the end for her and Alex when Jeremiah died. Alex was muted from that point on. Yes, she still did little things for Kara, but it was never the same. Her energy was so different and Kara found out that did not change when she went to college, even though her energy changed.

Kara had not witnessed much of the transformation Alex went through when she left home. Kara saw the start and it was the end of them for a long time. When Alex left for college, it had taken Kara all of one week to miss her, even if she had been cold to Kara for months. It took Kara a few seconds to decide to go see Alex after school and it was over just as fast.

She had been so happy and Alex taught her how quickly that could turn to devastation. She flew into Alex’s window, which was dangerous, as she had been warned of roommates and whatnot. She did not find roommates, though. She found Alex, her bond-mate of three years, with her hands down the pants of some guy, along with her tongue in the mouth of some guy, and that same guy’s hands inside her shirt.

“Alex,” Kara accidentally gasped.

She expected Alex to jump, but Alex only slowly peeled her mouth away from the guy. Then, she turned to Kara with a glassy gaze and a lopsided smile. It took all of Kara’s restraint to keep from slapping her.

“Kara,” Alex practically chirped. How could she smile at Kara, like she was not shattering their bond in that very moment?

“How could you do this?” Kara could not help but sob right then and there. Her perfect mate had thrown her away within a week of having to leave for whatever the hell this college thing was.

“Alex, who the hell is this?” the guy had the nerve to ask. He smelled like a distillery. 

Alex laughed. “My sister.”

“Her wife,” Kara hissed and glared at him so hard she could have set him on fire. He got lucky. 

“Wife? The hell, Alex? You a dyke?” the guy asked.

Alex laughed again. “‘Course not. She thinks she’s my wife, but it’s not real. We got fake-married, but she doesn’t know.” 

Kara blinked. “Fake…? You can’t fake being a mate!”

“Had to get you to stay.” Alex shrugged. “It worked.”

Kara did not usually need to breathe, but right now, she panted, needing all the air on Earth maybe. She pulled her hair, not sure where to start. She felt like she was being torn apart from the inside. She felt like she was about to explode, so she got out of the room as quickly as she could. By the time she was outside, she was sobbing, big ugly tears with snot. She created a sonic boom on her way home. 

They never talked about it. Alex did not come home for any breaks and then Kara left home for college of her own. Alex was the one who followed her to National City after she got an internship at CatCo. They repaired their relationship to a degree, but for Kara, it was like they were never married instead of no longer married. But, then again, they never were married. It always hurt to remember that.

-8-8-8-8-

“We were never married,” Kara whispered to herself. It was fake. Her heart and eyes burned as she said it. Her soul crunched into a ball at the admission, as always.

Alex never believed they were married and, honestly, why would any Kryptonian ceremony count on Earth? Kara was a fool for believing it did, but it probably saved her life. Alex saved her, in more ways than she could ever imagine, so she could not be mad at Alex. Still, there were times, quiet moments, when she thought of then, thought of when they were bonded, and her heart always felt like it might float away and she always felt whole. But, it was never real.

She had to swallow down a sob. It was never real. It did not change anything, but still changed everything.

The sound of the door opening caught Kara’s attention and she realized how distracted she was. She could not understand why. Maggie was not the first person to be attracted to Alex and she was not the first person Alex was ever attracted to. Well, she was certain it had been a long time since Alex was attracted to someone, but she was still allowed to be.

“Hey, you ducked out of your saving the world celebration,” Alex said, as she put her keys down and eased onto the opposite end of the couch.

Kara pulled her mouth to the side and tucked into herself a little more. “Yeah, I was a little tired.” Tired of seeing Maggie successfully flirt with Alex. “What are you doing here?”

“Checking on you, duh. Again, you ducked out of a celebration. You didn’t even eat the whole cake beforehand. It was red velvet.”

“Ah, man!” Eating a whole cake might be a good way to start her road to recovery, if only for a little while.

“I brought you some of it.” Alex held up a plate covered with foil and then placed it on the coffee table.

 _Aw, so sweet_. There Alex was, doing those perfect mate things again. “You came all the way over here to bring me cake? I figured you’d be out having drinks with Maggie by now.”

Alex shrugged. “I can do that any time.”

“You can go on a date with Maggie anytime?” That seemed rather nonchalant and a little careless of Maggie’s feelings.

Alex’s brow furrowed. “Why would I go on a date with Maggie?”

“Because she likes you, duh.”

Alex nodded. “She does, but I’m married.”

Kara’s mouth dropped open. “When did you get married?”

Alex chuckled. “I had just turned fifteen.”

Kara’s spine went straight. “We’re not married. It was fake.”

Alex’s mouth turned up into a half-smile that did not reach her eyes. “I know, but the ceremony was real and, honestly, it saved my life. So, I think of it as real now.”

Kara’s mouth dropped open, but no words came out. Alex thought of their marriage as real now? Since when? It saved her life? When? When did any of this happen?

“It’s okay, Kara. I know I blew it up a long time ago. I respect you dating other people, loving other people. I just still consider us married because, again, it saved my life,” Alex said with a halfhearted shrug. “I don’t expect you to change because of it.”

Kara shifted on the couch, glaring at Alex. “Then, why tell me at all? You never said anything before.” It would have been nice to know Alex believed in their bond now, not that it mattered. She needed Alex to believe in their bond years ago, before she broke it.

Alex threw her hands up. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ve always wanted to tell you and this seemed like as good a time as any. Again, I don’t expect anything from you. I just… I just… I don’t remember much from college, but I know I did something to make you push me away twice as hard as I pushed you. Sometimes, I thought it was a dream, but I know you came to my dorm and I was with… someone. Hell, I don’t even remember his name.” She rubbed her face with one hand. “I don’t remember what happened really, but I know it wasn’t good.”

“How could you not remember?” Kara could not forget. It was the second worst day of her life. Her world had collapsed in on her again and this time she did not think she picked up the pieces very well. She could go on, pretending to be human, but she did not make any close relationships. She tried, but it never came.

“Kara, the second I left for college, I got high and drank, a lot. I don’t remember my first month of college.” Alex glanced away as she picked at her fingernails.

Kara sighed. Being high and drunk certainly explained a lot of Alex’s behavior that day. And now that she thought about it, that was Alex’s M.O in college according to her. She partied hard and Kara knew why. Alex was trying to work through pain and Kara had not been there for her, too hurt over Alex breaking their bond the moment they were apart.

“You… you broke our bond, you know?” Kara asked. 

Alex’s gaze settled on the floor. “I know. I didn’t know at the time, but I know now. Still, it saved my life.”

“How so?” 

“Because you saved my life. You gave me purpose when J’onn came to me. I was… I am supposed to protect you. I accepted that when I accepted marrying you and he reminded me of that. You were always my responsibility and I lost sight of that in college. J’onn helped remind me. And then, I remembered I failed you in so many more ways. I promised myself never again.”

Kara’s brow furrowed. “So, you’ve been trying to be a good mate to me again?” 

Alex shrugged. “Bond-mate, sister, friend, whatever you wanted or accepted. You seemed to want and accept sister.”

“Because you said we weren’t really married and you didn’t care when I went out with other people. Actually, you helped me go out with other people.” Alex had encouraged her to go after people, like James. Alex cheered for her no matter what.

Alex pulled her mouth to the side, looking adorable and sheepish. “Because you deserve to be happy. You deserve to experience this world. If you want to date and fall in love, then I can support that. Heaven knows you deserve better than what I gave you.” 

Kara sniffled. “You were the perfect bond-mate.”

Alex laughed, throwing her head back. “I was perfect? Kara, you caught me fucking some guy I barely knew a week into college.”

Shaking her head, Kara wiped her eyes to stop tears from falling. It did not work. “Before then, dummy. Before you started pulling away. I know you didn’t think we were really married, but I did and I felt like it all the way up until I went to your dorm room. I might have actually still felt like it if you didn’t say our marriage was fake.”

Alex nodded and sniffled as well. “I’m sorry for that. I didn’t know how to deal with everything for a long time.”

“Why didn’t you let me in? Why didn’t you let me help? We’re bond-mates! I’m supposed to be there for you!” Kara leaped up and then realized what she said. “I mean, we _were_ bond mates. I mean…” She shook her head. She did not know what she meant. “This is confusing.”

“I didn’t want to lean on you. I felt like I needed to always hold you up. I can’t lean on you if I’m your support. I can’t add to your problems if I’m supposed to taking them away from you. But, I can’t self-destruct if I want to protect you, if I want to be there for you,” Alex replied. “I had to re-learn that.”

Kara scratched her head, pushing her hair back. “I’ve only recently learned how to be there for you and most of the time you still won’t let me. You can’t say we’re married and never let me be there for you. That’s not how it works, here or on Krypton. It hurts every time you push me away or try to shield me when I know you’re hurting.” 

“I’ve tried to take a step back, let you blossom, like you have been. Let you live your life, like you deserve. Again, you didn’t seem like you wanted me to be your mate anymore and I was okay with that as long as I could still support you.”

“What if I don’t want you to take a step back?” If tonight had proven anything to Kara, it was that she was not over her marriage to Alex. She still had not accepted it was fake. It was real to her, even now, and it was real to Alex. 

“It’s been better this way. Look at what you’ve done with your life without me standing next to you the whole time. You have friends who care about you. You have a job you love. Hell, you fell in love.” Alex’s mouth moved like she wanted to smile, but could not pull it off.

Kara scoffed. “I didn’t fall in love with James. I tried. I really tried because I thought you did that in college. Fell in love with… whoever that guy was you were with when I was there.” 

Alex shook her head. “You thought I fell in love with that guy? I didn’t even know that guy.”

“But… you…” Kara could not even say it. The thought of it, the memory turned her stomach and made her eyes burn with unshed tears. 

“Kara, I need you to understand, in college, I did any and everything to forget about life. Sex, drugs, alcohol, fighting, you name it. I’m lucky I didn’t die, on a bunch of different occasions. Do you know how many I woke up places I didn’t recognize, couldn’t remember how I got there, or had no idea how to get home at first?”

“You should’ve told me! I’m your mate. We’re supposed to go through things together!”

Alex sighed. “I didn’t know what that meant back then. I just knew I was meant to look after you, not the other way around. And, the more I fell, the more I knew I wasn’t looking out for you and fell further. I was worthless.” 

“No!” Kara was over to Alex, standing over her. “No, my mate is never worthless, has never been worthless. My mate is a brave, smart woman who protects me before I even realize it. She accepts responsibility for a scared, small alien, and pledges her life to someone who treats her poorly for way longer than is necessary.”

“You didn’t treat me poorly,” Alex said.

“I did. I did so many bratty things to you on purpose, but it was because I felt safe that you’d never go away and then you went away. For a long time, I thought it was because of me, but I learned to accept you just didn’t believe in our vows, didn’t think they counted, didn’t think of me that way.” 

Alex gave her a sorrowful smile. “I did believe in the vows, in the sense that I was expected to protect you. I assumed responsibility for you and I screwed that up. I broke my promise to you, myself, and hell, your family.” 

Kara’s brow wrinkled. “My family?”

“When I… when I agreed to marry you, I thought about what it would be like if I lost my family, my world, my everything. I looked at you and all I saw was hurt and pain and you needed someone to just help you through it. I promised your family that I’d help you since they couldn’t be there.”

Kara smiled. “You have a hero’s heart.” Sometimes, she imagined what the world might have been like if Alex was the one with the powers. It would probably be a much better place.

“When it comes to you, yeah.” Alex shrugged like this was no bid deal, but they both knew her actions were everything to Kara.

“No, in general. That’s why your father’s death hit you so hard. You’re a hero through and through and it hurt that you couldn’t save him, protect him, be there for him.” 

Alex’s eyes welled up with water and she sniffled, her chin trembled. Alex opened her mouth to say something, but put her hand over her mouth. Tears fell from her eyes and she shot up.

“I gotta go!” Alex turned to flee.

“No!” Kara grabbed her and pulled Alex to her, held Alex to her. “You can’t say we’re married and keep doing the same behavior. If you have to cry, you do it on me, just like I used to do it on you.”

Kara was shocked when Alex did just that. Alex let loose a gut-wrenching sob right into Kara’s chest. Kara eased them down to the couch and held Alex as she bawled on her. She was not sure how long it lasted and she hated to think it was kind of nice. 

Alex was tucked against her, head under Kara’s chin. Body warm and solid, even against Kara’s invulnerable form. Her breath tickled Kara’s neck in a way Kara never knew possible. 

“I never knew how much I needed that,” Alex said.

“You never cried?” Kara asked. 

“Not like that. I never…” Alex shook her head.

“You didn’t have a shoulder. You didn’t let yourself have a shoulder. I’m here for you. I’m your bond-mate.” Kara kissed the top of Alex’s head. 

“Do you mean that?” Alex asked, her voice low.

“I’ve always meant it. I was being a brat when I said it, trying to hold onto the traditions of a dead planet, but I meant it.” 

Alex gave her a watery smile. “Krypton isn’t dead as long as you’re here and the traditions live on through you.”

“There you go again, being a good mate.”

Alex laughed, but Kara knew it was because Alex did not think she was a good mate. And maybe she was not at times, but Kara was more than aware at times she was also not a good mate. They could work on it now, especially since they both acknowledged the marriage.

-8-8-8-8-

A year later, Kara and Alex decided to “renew” their vows. It was purely human thing, but Kara was open to it. Now, they were both aware of the weight of the vows and this was more voluntary on both of their parts than before. This time, instead of letting Clark botch the Kryptonian language, they stood before the AI version of Alura. Kara liked to think her mother would be proud of her, proud of her mate, and would approve of this. Kara had the best mate possible.

-8-8-8-8-

The End.

Thanks for reading. Come say hi to me on Facebook if you want, under the name [S. L. Kassidy](https://www.facebook.com/SL-Kassidy-482097488469386/). Back to my padded cell with me. Thanks again.

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna see more of my fanfics, they're all at FFN under [StarvingLunatic](https://www.fanfiction.net/~starvinglunatic). If you wanna see some original stories, you can look at FP under [StarvingLunatic](https://www.fictionpress.com/u/576301/).
> 
> Come say hi to me on [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/SL-Kassidy-482097488469386/).


End file.
